Raw

Right now it's too raw to even start to come to any sort of semblance of organisation in my head but what is going through my mind is that I have done the right thing. I couldn't pretend that I didn't have some issues with us - I kept them underneath the brilliance that was us but they were still there. The enormity of having to put down so many things that I loved because I was worried about you - the walking, the holidays, the energetic lifestyle that I like to live - I couldn't block it all out. It was too much of a compromise to think that the man I loved and I wouldn't be able to enjoy everything together. I felt like I was signing part of my life - of me - away by committing 100%. You never pretended otherwise but as the weeks went on these things gained a bigger significance (maybe a disproportionate significance, but a significance nonetheless).

The amazing:
Your absolute ability to understand me
Your pride in me and my work
Your love
Your openness and honesty
Your respect and devotion

You have made me what I am today. I will not revert - I cannot revert. I am a better person because of you and that can never be taken away. You have shown me so many things and have taken me on a journey of self-discovery, of experiences, of true deep love. You will always be my daddy and I will always always remember every single day of us.


Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I still feel like I am yours and that is going to take a long time to disappear.

"Don't cry because its over....smile because it happened" I never realised how relevant that was going to be.

Sorry xxxxx