And so it begins

When you're least expecting something. When your defences are down. When you're resigning yourself to a lifetime of mediocre dating, drunken shags and unfulfillment. Who could have predicted this one??

My initial forays into the scene had introduced me to some of the THE characters, the big cheeses. Danny (who clearly I have mentioned before), Warlock (met at Hades), The Edge (met at Dark) and also David. David is a big guy and my initial reaction when I met him in Nov 07 was one of slight awe but also of complete comfort as he made me grin, made me feel comfortable in what was essentially a totally alien environment. That first night at Hades will stick in my memory forever - not for the things I witnessed, more for the utter acceptance of me by the people I met.

At Dark in April, when I was bent over and on show, it was David who sat and talked to Tim. I couldn't hear what they were saying but every fibre of me wanted it to be Tim saying " Take her she's yours" - which of course didn't happen and I felt a bit guilty even thinking it but then by April I already knew this relationship was doomed.

Fast forward to 31st July and a series of seemingly innocent exchanges via IC and then it all came out - in a kind of rush of "thank fuck for that" as actually I admitted that I've been thinking about him ever since I met him (and seemingly vice versa). Well - there you go!!!

Two things stick in my mind:
He likes me - woohoo
Bloody hell what the hell is going to happen to me now?

I feel like I can properly put on my boots and start this journey. Everything I have learned about myself should stand me in good stead but already, after two late night conversations, he has invaded my thoughts and my conscience. Last night, after speaking for a while, my mind was whirring. I couldn't sleep but I was tired, I didn't want to lie down but physically I couldn't stand up and the images and thoughts going around and around were vivid, and dark and exciting and thrilling. And was I wet?? As if he'd actually been there in the room. And his voice - makes me think of dark melted chocolate and already I feel like I never want it to stop.

So - what are my expectations and what am I looking for?
To please, serve and adore
To be looked after - before during and after
To be used and broken, to be pushed and pushed and then held tight
To make him proud
To experience life and thoughts through his eyes
To take control of my raging horny streak and hand it over for his control

Who know's where I'm going but boy am I going to enjoy it. As I said to David, in my usual gung-ho manner, Bring It On.

(whimper)

xxx