It's been such an incredible rollercoaster of a two weeks. Immense highs, some lows, some stress, some crossness, some incredible connection and lots and lots of communication.
I want to start by saying that when I am lying in your arms, the bed soaked through because of what you do to me, my skin tingling because of your hands, my head spinning because of your words - there is nothing wrong with the world at all. Connection magnified through every nerve and neurone, pleasure coursing through my body and my head, my face alive with the joy of being with you. Your smell, your feel, your taste, your words, your touch, your breath, your presence. Incredible.
We played! Oh and we played again!
First there was the "I'm going to cut you" evening. And you did. You re-carved our 'D' and our 'D' in a heart. And you added another D + S for good measure. And you used your knives, your nails and your hands. Oh your hands.......I haven't floated away like that for such a long time darling.
And then we went away to a hot, strange place and it was fantastic. And I only wish it could have been longer because travel is my thing and I haven't done enough recently (well not for fun anyway). I was so looking forward to being away with you. For the most part it really was great - the walk along the beach on day one, the time by the pool on day three, the trip to Dubai. Other parts I struggled with. It seemed the physical/age chasm reared its ugly head rather more than I had been prepared to believe. I felt frustrated that we wouldn't be able to do things rather than revelling in those things we could do. So I got sarcastic and snippy, rude, distant and aloof. I hate the way I do that, and I particularly hate the way I did that to you. To you who is my rock, the man who cares and adores for me so much that it makes me cry. The man who worked so hard so that we could enjoy this time away together. I was bratty, a 'pain in the arse' and I wish I could re-live the days again but with a better attitude. I'm so sorry daddy for letting you down.
We came home. We went to work. We re-connected. Last night, wearing just my collar, curled up in the middle of the bed blindfolded waiting.....just waiting......
You got out the whip. It whooshed through the air, it landed on my bare, unprepared skin. It tingled, it tickled, then it hurt. Across my back, across my bottom, the tops of my thighs. It stung and bit me. It wasn't a regular pattern either - I couldn't get into it. I couldn't get away from it.
Then you had me pinned down, your body weight across my stretched out body. And you went to work. Spank, spank, smack, spank, scratch, smack, spank. Again and again and again. I could feel the wetness, the way my body instantly responds to your touch, from the moment I lay down on the bed. I moaned like a whore as you felt me, as you pushed your fingers inside me only to retract as quickly as you had entered. I ached all over for you to touch me but again you punished my bottom saying "tomorrow I want you to feel this, to remember what I am doing to you" I can't remember what else you said but I remember vividly how it felt as you finally pushed me to orgasm.
Still blindfolded I was allowed to suck your cock. It's been ages and it tasted so good felt so perfect. Taking you completely into my throat, making myself gag because I know you love it. You filled my head with "you need to find a girly who could be licking you right now" and "you need to find a girly who will help you suck daddy's cock" And I didn't say a word because I was so ashamed how horny that made me.
You seemed pleased with the result!
We kissed, we held each other, so deeply entwined that I couldn't work out where one ended and the other began. Your smile, your hands, the pain as you twisted my nipple so hard. When you left me, under the duvet, I was still dripping wet but I couldn't move because of the pleasure you had created.
All day today has been a haze of happiness. A pink fluffy glow of knowing that what we have is so incredible that the bits we 'don't have' seem so unimportant. A lifetime of firsts you have afforded me in just 18 months. It is an awe-inspiring feat. I'm alive, I'm in love, I'm loved, I'm wanted and desired, I'm making you proud.
The parts that were wrong - it was my mindset that was wrong. The parts that are SO right - it is our mindset that makes them that way.
Thank you daddy for everything and most of all for holding me tight and not letting me go.
I love you xxxx forever xxxxxx
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