Knife to meet you

I love knives. I love your knives actually - rather than just being passionate about Sabatier knives or cook-shops or the like.

But I'm jumping ahead and there's loads to say here 'cos I want to keep it for posterity.

Last week was the worst ever in my life. It felt like every bubble had burst, the magic had been revealed to be pure trickery and the belief I had in us was shaken to its core.

We got through it. With words and tears, with anger and disbelief, with hugs and silence. With you grabbing my hair, slapping my face, looking at me with your amazing brown eyes while holding my face. With lovely lovely sex and an urgency that took me (us?) by surprise. We got through it by understanding the important bits and by really really holding a mirror to us.

I'd rather we didn't go through it again though - ever - but it may have served as the turning point in our relationship. God do I know what I want and that's to be with you forever. Forever by your side.

So we finally got to the weekend that Eve and I had been planning and plotting for a while! I have to admit that I found it hard to muster the necessary enthusiasm and passion on Saturday in the day but I did want to make it happy and successful so threw myself into the preparation.

What an evening! Lots and lots of laughter which is the bedrock of everything we do.

In no particular order:

KNIVES - yayyyyyyyyy. Scratchy, cold, heavy, painful, beautiful, pointy knives. And your chuckle and your smile. And I was away with the fairies.

More knives - this time on someone else, cutting away his clothing in a prepared scene that went awry but also went really well and was a lot of fun. I was actually shaking at the beginning - maybe through nerves, maybe through the importance this scene had for the people involved. It was fun! Still don't think I'm a Domme but what a giggle to help someone else bring their fantasy to life.

Dancing in chains! Cuffed to the ceiling (please don't cut my slinky brand new dress that I hoped you would love) and then tortured with slaps, a flogger, an electric fly swat and your staples. Absolutely brilliant. Fun, humiliating, painful and extraordinarily cathartic.

Your book of photographs. I know you love it, I could tell by the silence and the way the edges of your mouth curled upwards as you looked through our adventures. And I was bursting with pride when you wanted to show your friends. Hopefully we've got time to make many many more albums.

The naughty knicker nicker nonsense that was going on at the end of the night. Pure brilliant comedy and hats off to the lovely lady who was making us all smile.

Sleepy spooning morning - waking up to you and to your hard cock. Can't beat that feeling :-)

The knowledge that however much I wanted to play, you would dictate the pace and the actuality. It frustrates and excites me in equal measure but you were incredible and brilliant. Thank you.

The cold steel of our collar, your collar, my collar around my neck as I type this. So simple, so powerful.

So, we end the week in one piece. Actually better than one piece I think. We are patched up front and back and both sides. We've put in sandbags, we've defeated the onslaught. And we are together! And I couldn't be happier about it.

I love you. I love you. I love you.
I am here for you in whatever guise you need at that time - friend, shoulder, lover, sub, cook, helper, partner, equal. Take your pick - I am all yours.

xxxx