So I went to Hades. My first club night. I was nervous about dressing like a tart but I was desperate to meet D. Even though I'd had a strange conversation with his partner Maria because I get the feeling she's jealous and he didn't follow protocol.
Very strange dressing up like that - corset showing off my tits, stockings, boots, short skirt. have never ever dressed like that before. Didn't feel like a tart - more as if I was on display
Club was in a strange part of town and I didn't really want to walk through the council estate in my fetish gear!
On arrival, very chaotic. Had to produce photo id, fill in forms. Bad atmosphere at the beginning. Lots of people arriving with large bags - predominance of leather trousers.
Two people came up to me straight away and used my IC name and said I looked great. Saw Danny who I had been having some quite intense conversations with over the last month - we spotted each other immediately and even though he runs the night, was very stressed and had been ill, still took time to look me in the eye, say good evening Sarah and give me the dirtiest grin I have ever seen!
Wandered through the rooms and was shown around by one of the house doms who was very sweet, very "normal" and very helpful. Lots of people standing around, some great looking equipment, very poor lighting.
Found myself not really wanting to be or to play with the guy (J) and the girl (S) that I had gone with - in fact, whenever he came up to me I wanted to run away from him. I don't connect with him properly - he is sweet but I don't feel anything for him. So I went off for a wander on my own and within a short time I had been asked by Maria (D's partner and cowoner of the night) to do meet and greet at the front entrance. She wanted me to feel comfortable with the range of people in the club, give me an opportunity to say hello to lots of people and also to show me off a bit. It was fun and the girls I was with were young and full of life and enthusiasm and piercings.........
However, after 3/4 of an hour, the guy that I had arrived with appeared and was very cross that I had wandered off without telling him and was being very possessive which irritated me.
Was relieved of my duties after an hour and then went for a wander again. Sat and watched some knife play which didn't really interest me. Watched lots of flogging and whipping. People watched a lot and spoke to some people. Just chilled out really and soaked it all in.
Talked to Danny for ages about fantasy versus reality, the lifestyle versus vanilla, the wrongness versus the rightness. He's intense. He got between my ears from the moment we started chatting online so I knew there would be a connection there. We talked about dirty things like being pimped out, like rape fantasies, like a man using a mother and a daughter. He is intense - he has amazing eyes, he looks straight at you and comes out with so much fucking filth but in a calm way. Poor guy was ill as well and running around trying to sort out the night but still he found time to talk to me.
I'm in awe of him slightly as he's well known on the scene, puts these nights on, works bloody hard and is very, very dark. I found myself just wanting to talk to him, to delve into some of the darker corners of my mind. And he listened and prompted and fed me ideas and thoughts. And then as I was walking away, his partner Maria saw me and held my hand and asked me whether I wanted to play. So I leant over a metal rack and Maria and Mistress Amba used the crop, the paddle and other things on my bottom. And I loved it. And it was humiliating knowing all these people were watching me and I was enjoying the pain and the pleasure and my head was churning as I laughed as every blow landed. It felt like I was high as Maria talked to me and scratched her nails up my arm. And then it hurt so I said stop. It can't have been more than 10 minutes and I stopped it quickly before I needed to because I was embarrassed about how much I loved it.
The next morning my bottom was amazing colours and it just felt right.
That night went back to hotel room with J and S and fucked around a bit and played with her until the early hours. I was going through the motions. I wanted to be being used by Danny - I wanted to be his.
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