You have said many times over the past few months that you have seen me blossoming and I feel that sometimes I just take one step forward to take three back. However, I want to clarify how I see myself. And it isn't blossoming so much as growing up. Actions versus consequence, cheap thrills versus long lasting repercussions, concentration versus short attention span and finally patience.
So I took myself into town on Friday (as you know) and got drunk with old friends. It wasn't planned, it wasn't premeditated but when I told you, you just texted me back to say I deserved a celebration. I know I feel the need to seek approval, to absolve myself of guilt about things that might be wrong but this was lovely. Like you were proud of me and were letting me have my head. And in that moment, I felt another connection to you. That as much as I might be blossoming, I am always not allowing myself to forget that sometimes, just sometimes, if it feels good, it is good.
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