She wavers

Okay, so I didn't realise that we were going to have any online/remote control stuff going on. I'd been focused on you coming down on 18th, having a bit of a laugh, going to a club and that was it. However, as the days have gone on I have realised that

1) if you come down, bend over and I spank you then both of us are just going to laugh. Two girls being silly in someone's front room. Yes I will be 'topping' but more likely than not you'll be thinking about Eastenders and the moment will pass all too soon

2) If I start playing with your mind beforehand, seeing what makes you tick, enjoying hearing you squirm as you battle between good and bad, when you come down and I bend you over and spank you - you become that slut. You round the circle. You are now a slut being spanked by another woman. Your head will be somewhere else entirely. You'll be reliving the control stuff from before, you'll be ashamed of what you are but so aroused by it too. You'll want me to stop but want me to do so much more too. The possibilities are suddenly endless. Your head is being played with but in me doing so it is being cleared to allow you to enjoy submitting. To have an experience doing it.

Head is the most important thing in all this and sometimes things can seem utterly ridiculous. "Toothpaste? No knickers? Ginger? What the fuck is she on about - who does she think she it - what on earth does she really think she's achieving here - I'm me, nobody's plaything." The rational part of the brain shouting loudest. But then that equally noisy, driven by desire, hard-wiring and just who you are goddammit "god I love being controlled - how horny that this is a woman - that is so naughty - there is no way I could really do any of this is there - god I want her to fuck me with a strap-on and make me her slut"

Anyway, I could be wrong with all of the above but this is kind of how it worked with me so I have got some previous to fall back on.

x