Churning

I've got a headache this morning. I'm feeling tired, stressed about everyday life, about the business, about my impending house move, about being a good enough - mother, daughter, consultant and now to top it all off, about being good enough as a potential lover.

For today is the day that I am meeting mr possible. We have talked a lot. He has got into my head into my psyche. But I have read a lot too - there are some incredible blogs out there including this one http://littlegirlyone.blogspot.comwhich just seem to be me, seem to say what I have been feeling. Even down to some early posts of hers where she says she just can't talk about sex acts, things she wants, face-to-face. She blushes, she stutters. That is me. I haven't read her whole blog yet - maybe she gets better at this one? But at the moment, even on the phone I find it hard to say - that sounds amazing, this is what I want to do to you, this is what I want you to do to me. Maybe I will learn with the right person.

In more exciting news - I am going to Hades. This sounds like the most incredible club night ever - brilliant for my education. I can't wait. I have wanted to go to a fetish club for years and years - even before I realised I was drawn towards the dark side. And now it's going to happen even if I go on my own.