As I snuggled in the bed with the other girl after my first whipping session, feeling blissed out, spaced, slightly sore and content, I chatted to her about what I wanted. She is an experienced sub - has been in a Master/slave relationship, has been in an abusive relationship (I hasten to add this is NOT a BDSM relationship) - and had lots of good thoughts for me. I confided that I didn't think A. was right for me. There was too much uncertainty, I never quite knew what I was supposed to do and in between scenes there was hardly any contact between us. I knew I liked and craved the attention and I loved the scene but none of the rest matched for me.
The next day I looked at my bottom - wow. My first bruises, the first outward signs of who I had become. An incredible feeling and as I drove home I was buzzing. I wanted to shout it from the roof tops - I'm a dirty slut who likes to be used and whipped. But my feelings of happiness were short lived as I stupidly, in my blissed out state, confided in someone who took it the wrong way. My ex - the father of my child. I know I shouldn't have but I needed to tell someone what I had been through and he was encouraging me but as soon as it all came out he turned on me, levelling accusations that I wasn't a fit mother, that I had put myself in danger, that I was stupid, thoughtless, tactless. I know that he was hurting - hurting because I was again stretching away from him, hurting because he could never have given me what I need so badly. But it was a wake-up call. I needed to show him more respect. S - I am sorry xxxx
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